Saturday, May 4, 2013

Film Adaptation

By Allen Griffin

MTV decided, during prime time no less, to air their film adaptation of "Gravity's Rainbow".  The movie proved to be extremely faithful to the book and fourteen hours later, when it was finished, anarchy swept across the nation.  

The President watched the entire broadcast with a feeling of abject horror.  His salt and pepper hair turned white overnight.  His fingers shook as he demanded continuing status reports.

Beating hearts emancipated them from every chest cavity in the country and started blood harvesting co-ops in major sports stadiums.  The citizenry marched on Washington demanding no infringement on the second amendment, particularly when it came to owning V-2 rockets.  That evening, everyone went home and drew maps of all the places they ever fornicated.

The C.I.A. made calls, anxious to get to the bottom of things.

"First you get rid of all the music videos, then you make all those damn reality shows, and now this…what next?"  The veins on the Director's forehead looked like an alien topography.  He knew this was the work of some "pinko-commie-bastards" and he got stuck trying to hold the whole shebang together.

Walter Isaacson was found dead.  Thomas Pynchon couldn't be reached for content.  Blood banks declared neutrality, but for all intents and purposes, they stood with the Free Hearts Society.

The Director met with the President.  They decided nothing could be done. The President wanted to keep his white hair and if he fought the thing, it was sure to get ripped out. Instead, they simply caved to everyone's demands.

Factories began producing the rockets right away.  Blood filled the streets but no one died.   Professional sports grew to be even more popular.

The President interrupted a prime time movie to address the nation from the oval office.
"We are entering a new age," he proclaimed."Little did we know the only thing that stood between us and fantasy was ourselves.  Let us drink the hemoglobin together and let no bad blood come between us."

The press conference ended and Adult Swim rejoined it's showing of "Finnegan's Wake", already in progress.
Allen Griffin has previously appeared at The Mustache Factor, Innsmouth Magazine, and a few other cool places. You can find him on Twitter at @Agriffinauthor.