Thursday, March 14, 2013

Jane Fonda Needs to Get Her Eyes Checked

By Kyle Hemmings

I bring her six to eight plastic flowers after her bodyguard quits, take her Peruvian hairless terrier for circular walks that causes pedestrian traumas, order five to seven chilli dogs with the works & this is the thanks I get. She says THANK YOU, LITTLE BOY, DID YOU BRING MAMA ANY TWISTERS? Or LITTLE BOY, COULD YOU RUN OUT FOR MAMMA & GET SOME TOILET PAPER, THE ROSE COLORED KIND? Jane Fonda is losing her vision & I can't count. So maybe it evens out. I keep telling her to stop calling me little boy. Soon, I'll be older than her.

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BIO: Kyle Hemmings is a what? A moon cake. A subvervise astronaut. A mama's boy
 with claws. Kyle Hemmings is who you want him to be. He has been published
elsewhere.

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