By Dustin Hamilton
He began to rock back and forth with his head in between his legs. The cricket in front of him started to chirp at him. It reminded him of the time he lost his virginity.
It was a humid August night. He happened to be at a Denny’s with his girlfriend Sally. She went to the bathroom to freshen up. While he waited outside of his car (she had the keys), a cricket very similar to this one began to hum its chirpy song. It climbed onto his shoulders and kissed at his neck. When Sally came outside she found her boyfriend porking a cricket, he never got his car keys back.
Now here he sat, ten years later, with a cricket in front of him, humming a song. It climbed his neck and began to kiss. The television cried to him: “Friends” was on. His other girlfriend loved “Friends”. Her name was Kindle, she left him for the show, and she took his flat screen too. He smacked the cricket off his neck. He would not let it happen again. It had taken him years of study to find a way to restore his virginity. The cricket started to weep. He did too. They cuddled for a while; he lost his virginity again, to a cricket. In the morning he found out the cricket liked “Friends”; he kicked it out onto the doorstep, and left it to sing its song._____________________________________________________________