Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pretzel Fish

By Martin Roberts

Under doughlithic skies, where rust-like lands trembled on knees to rainbow shores, the world became centre stage for the evolution of the *Pretzel Fish (bracellus bracchiola).


Symmetrical yet blind, its feelers filter thoughts of pure H2O as it bobs and weaves on currents and raisins.


Learning its prayers the species is rewarded with a whisper of knowledge from the Seaweed of Life 'Pretzel Fish, at the end of the seven hues beach lies pretty eyes, your prize for carrying the sea around your necks without one word of complaint'.

And so the Pretzel Fish packed overnight bags and set forth, the last journey aquatic before turning its back on the cool waters. But not without farewell Frank aka Seaweed of Life and a host of friends, colleagues and even a few enemies. Some say the celebrations may have lasted for millennia, others think this a mere typo and it was only months of merriment. One thing is certain, those brave little fish made it to land and that's when all hell broke loose.


Set to stun. Land mines and rocks. Laser beams and some very strong name calling. Scratchy tongued and of foul temper, the land fought back. To no use. Its arsenal depleted, the land acquiesced, allowing the victorious Pretzel Fish to claim its right to vision and the use of its pretty eyes... a dazzling shade of azure they were too.

*Sizes range from 30cm to 1 metre, weighing up to 2.5kg, although there are rumours of a Super Pretzel.


BIO: After plagiarising James Herbert's The Rats in High School and getting caught... I wrote my first weird story about The Fog, the star of another Herbert novel being interviewed on a TV chat show. This of course was after it had killed off my English teacher. Minus 20 see me! Unpublished as a writer of fiction I have had a non-fiction published and co-edited an anthology of horror stories I'm starting to be concerned that it will look like I have plagiarised Jonathan Byrd's bio. As a gentleman I can assure you that the above is the absolute truth.

1 comment:

  1. Pretzels living in a landscape inspired by Salvador Dali and Lovecraft - a big story told so lightly- and so sparingly.

    I am curious to hear more :)